The fear. The fear from the rockets. The fear from the thought they can send here a rocket and destroy my city, my street, my house. This thought doesn’t leave me. I think about it every day, every hour, every minute, every second since the war begun.
It’s not another story, it’s my life. It’s the life of every person who lives in Israel.
They haven’t reached my house. Yet. But the fear doesn’t leave me for a moment. My family is under fire, I’m not far from this situation. And I can’t stop thinking about it.
A pen drops on the floor. A door somebody slammed. A book drops from the shelf. Somebody use a hammer. All of these regular stuffs and more get me jump from my place and think it’s another rocket that dropped somewhere. Another house destroyed. Thousands of people sitting in their homes and hope that everybody is OK.
A shout. An airplane. An ambulance. The police. They’re all regular stuff, too. And all of them get me think it’s another rocket, another time to go to the safe room, in a few seconds only.
I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t stop thinking I can do nothing to stop it. I can’t stop thinking about the danger. And I’m not the only one. I can feel the fear in the air every time somebody drops a pen or slams a door. I can feel the fear in the air when somebody shouts. And it gets my fear stronger.
I can only think about the alarms. I can only think about the rockets which can find their way to my city. I can only think I’m hopeless. I can only think I can do nothing.
The fear. The fear from the rockets. The fear from the hopeless. The fear from the thought they can send here a rocket. This fear doesn’t leave me for a moment. This fear doesn’t leave anybody here, in Israel, not for real.
The fear. I can’t explain it to you. I can’t explain it to anybody. This fear… You can’t understand it if you wasn’t there. You can’t understand this fear until you’re there. The fear that somebody will destroy your home… The fear that somebody will enjoy from it… The fear that somebody out there wants to destroy your home. The fear that somebody wants to destroy the homes of your friends. And family. And everybody you know. And also everybody you won’t ever know.
This fear won’t leave anybody here until it’ll all stop.
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